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3/2 Change and the Will in Total Wholeness

So far we have investigated the Mind, the Entrance to the Boardroom in our journey toward Total Wholeness.  The Mind thinks it is the ‘Captain of our World’, the one who must get things logical and done!  Our SuperComputer needs guidance and renewed input to join a healthy personality, or to join what we have called ‘The Boardroom’.

Do you remember all the parts that make you who you are?  Do a quick review if you need to place all the ‘players’ in the Boardroom.

In this post, we are venturing into the ‘Doing Part’ in the room: the Will.  What is its function and how can we help our will toward health? What blocks us from doing what we ‘will to do’

 

B.  SAY HELLO TO THE WILL

1.  What do we mean by the Will?

As we have already said, the BR is constantly feeling emotions, thinking about things, sorting out different views and making decisions.  The will is that part of us which carries out whatever decisions are made by the BR, whether by majority rule or by whichever BR member has the ‘power’. 

2.  Like the other members of the BR, the will can be in many ‘conditions’. 

 —— > crushed, deformed, weak, strong, overpowering, flabby, inflexible, useful, tired, overworked, restless, given up, struggling on, healthy, practical, and so on.

The Will often reacts and fights with other members and can be at war with itself as well.

3.  Change comes when the whole Boardroom is really committed to help the will bring healthy change.  The question becomes:

“Is the will an enforcer or a follower?”

4.  What are the signs of an unhealthy will?

The Unhealthy Will chooses and follows unacceptable, even self-destructive goals.  It often sidetracks or blocks success with irrelevant details.  It is unwilling to do the tedious job of changing or taking risks.  The Unhealthy Will wants instant results and has problems listening to the real needs of the BR.  It is often incapable of seeing other methods or is rigid in its approach.  It can minimise danger and not recognise its limits.

The Unhealthy Will blindly follows past methods or the wrong BR member.  It has problems acquiring reliable information.  It adds its own ambiguous, cloudy, unclear or over-emotional ideas.  Usually the UW is in “mess management” mode and staying focused is difficult.

5.  What are the signs of a healthy will?

The Healthy Will carries out the BR’s decisions in a specific, robust and realistic way, keeping with the BR’s values and goals.  It can find resources to do the given job and handles frustration effectively when obstacles block progress.  The HW helps to manage feelings and biases.  It deals with harmful inertia, works to correct the aimless, lethargic wanderings of mindless cycles. 

The Healthy Will can set realistic expectations and goals, eliminating self-destructive ones.  It can filter choices, evaluate when the goal is reached and terminate action.  The HW can follow the Lord, choose to deal correctly with temptations and can grow with the spirit and the Holy Spirit in charge.

6.  What influences the health of our will?

a)  Our childhood influences our will.  Although the will appears to be neutral, it can be crippled by childhood trauma, at 2 and the teens.

The wrong Childhood will influence:

If authority was too harsh ……. it breaks and crushes the will

If authority was non-existent..… the child becomes its own expert

Too early choices …… may result in a rebellious will.

Stressful early decisions ……… may make later decisions hard.

If the child hasn’t learnt to submit … the will knows little restraint.

If the BR is ‘under rejection’ … problem behaviours develop.

If given distortions or prejudges …. indecision and confusion result.

b)  Remember the poster on children?  “If a child lives with criticism, they will be .…..”.  We learn by what we live with.  Without proper nurturing, the will can become crippled or tangled – just like we saw with the spirit. 

Children Learn What They Live

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn what envy is.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with tolerance, they learn to be patient.
If children live with encouragement, they learn to be confident.
If children live with praise, they learn to appreciate.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to find love in the world.
If children live with recognition, they learn to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn to be generous.
If children live with honesty and fairness, they learn what truth and justice
are.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in
those around them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn that the world is a nice place
in which to live.
If children live with serenity, they learn to have peace of mind.
What are your children living with today?

(author and source unknown)

c)  The will is also greatly influenced by the condition of the other BR members.  For most of us, the will has carried out wrong decisions, thus causing confusion.  It may be following the self destructive requests of one BR member or another.  It can also be tangled in a past history of indecision.

d)  Often the will carries out the decisions of the heart – in whatever condition this might be.  If the heart is still broken, the will follows the desires of the broken heart.  Since the heart is mostly concerned with the pain and pleasures of life, following a broken heart brings many overwhelming problems and even mental illnesses.

 

C.  IN OUR COMING POSTS ON THE WILL

We shall look at the Will and the motivation for change.  What stops us from doing things best for ourselves….for doing what we really want to do?  How do we chose to begin the journey so that change really happens?

We’ll look at that old enemy, self-sabotage and find the ‘Payoffs’ that can keep us locked into unhealthy behaviour.

Then, our challenge as followers of Jesus is to re-direct the will to follow what the Lord and the spirit decide – “to will to do His will”.  Onl;y then will we have the Will for Total Wholeness!

 

D.  IN CONCLUSION

Part of the journey is to sort out “What is the current condition of the member we are investigating?”  Members in the BR need to explore the possibilities of change, to examine what holds the will captive and work to find solutions.  Jesus wants to bring us freedom, but the will must be set free to do His will, rather than following the directions given by a broken heart.

In our next post, we will to continue our discussion on the Will.  How often we use the word ‘will’ without realising that the word does apply to willingness, doing and choice to do something.  In our next post, we shall examine the factors that stop the will from acting – thus we have a ‘weak, crushed’ will.

So join us for our third post on ‘Factors which influence the actions of the will’ as we continue to journey toward Total Wholeness!

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author

www.totalwholeness.mentorsnotebook.com

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